Guest post by by Cass Mullane, Accountability Coach, Right-Brain Business Plan® Licensed Facilitator, Prosper Creatively, LLC
I was at my Women’s Chamber of Commerce luncheon and heard a great speaker who has a huge job running the largest hospitals in the region. She is a delightful person who maintains her sense of humor while demonstrating what it’s like to be a very successful businesswoman. She was talking about leadership, passion and health and a particular line stuck with me:
“Turn judgement in to joy.”
Look at this from the perspective of constantly judging yourself. Obviously this is a recurring theme amongst women, but it applies equally to men. Whether you’re judging your mental shape, your financial shape or your physical shape, you tend to set up standards that are unreasonable and you then berate yourself for falling short of perfection. What gives?!
Do you realize how much of your precious energy is wasted feeding the negative judgment into your mind? Are you paying attention to the impact of that judgment … sucking the passion out of your life?
If you were to check in with your body you would immediately feel that negative energy. To see what I mean, say this sentence out loud: “I totally screwed that up, I’m a completely worthless person.” Check in with your body and you’ll likely feel your shoulders slumping, your energy draining and your mindset heading into a downward spiral.
Now say this sentence out loud: “I totally screwed that up, and I learned some important lessons.” Feel the difference? Maybe you shrugged your shoulders, but your body didn’t slump. Your energy probably remained stable and your mindset went into I-have-to-figure-this-out-now mode. You acknowledged the screw up but instead of collapsing into a trembling blob of goo, you shook yourself off and looked ahead to see what you learned in order to not repeat the same screw up. Small shift in thinking, huge difference in your energy.
There’s joy in learning lessons, because there’s joy in learning. Think about it. When you learn something new, your brain is engaged and you are fully present. Whether you’re learning a new painting technique or learning a better way to handle a business situation, you’re staying in the moment and being proactive. And when you’re fully engaged, there’s joy. In fact, when you’re fully present, there’s very little room for judgment because so much of your self is focusing on learning something new.
So, when you fall short of miraculous, instead of being so harsh on yourself, find the lessons learned and apply them. One lesson might relate to the actual situation and how you could have responded in a different way. Or it might be how the situation could have been defused or avoided all together. Or it could be a serious look at the expectations and seeing how they were or were not communicated. Another might be checking your standards against reality and making some very appropriate adjustments.
Regardless of the lesson, put what you learned into practice and turn that judgment into joy.
Cass Mullane is an artist with an MBA. Cass’ calm, comfortable approach consistently yields positive results for clients. Her business and personal coaching practice, www.ProsperCreatively.com, specializes in delivering solid left brain business skills to right brainers and creatives in a fun, visual way. She’s a best selling author, textile and mixed media artist and creator of the Cool Stuff Jar™ coaching program. You can also visit Cass on Facebook!